You can read the first part of the article, here.
So, where were we?
So I left from Mrs Andreea, with a DVD of the movie ”Avatar” in my
backpack and with my soul more lighter because I told about very intimate things
to a stranger whom I felt, still, pretty close to me. That was on the evening
of 6.03.2013, somewhere between 5 and 7 pm, for those fascinated by numerology.
I arrived home and I was thinking if I should watch the movie then
or the next morning. Because the movie was about two and a half hours long (162
minutes, to be precise), and because I had somehow a state of tiredness, I
decided to look at it the next day before lunch. In this way I wasn’t mixing the
impressions and sensations I had after this meeting, with the movie, and I
would let the night somehow settle down things.
Before I go on with
my story, I want to say that in that week some significant things were also
happening. In the previous days, Monday and Tuesday (4 and 5 of march
respectively), I had a sharing and talks with the girl I had broke up on New
Year Eve Party, in such an open and straightforward way I could never imagined.
This opened my heart to the unknown even more. I could say to her, for example,
that it seemed to me not right to kiss me if she didn’t love me :).
And she admitted that she knew somehow deep inside that I’m not
“the right person” for her, but she indulged in that uncertainty.
One more thing that
is worth mentioning about that week is that I was doing an exercise, a meditation
technique called “walking with no head”, in which you have to imagine yourself
in whatever you do, as having no head. This was done together with other
friends, each one on his own, of course. The idea of the technique is to
connect you more with your heart space and to look at the world not through the
eyes of the mind but more through the gentle and loving eye of the heart. For
me, one of the effects was that I somehow didn’t feel the need to look into the
mirror anymore. It was like, if I don’t have a head, what to look at anyway?
Now let’s get back
to the main story.
So I slept and I
dreamt of M, who was beside me (in my dream), and then we had to move from some
room with all our things and I see her going but she is with somebody else and
she plays in her unique way with that boy. Her image like a photo of an actress,
much more beautiful and clean than I knew her, remains in my mind.
And I wake up very
early, around 5- 5.30 am, very fresh and with a trance-like awareness state. I
meditate for about an hour, and then I fall asleep again. When I wake up, after
I make my usual cleaning service, I start the computer and I watch “Avatar”. A
movie launched in 2009 on the market, so it was kind of outdated, but I didn’t
feel the need to see it then, although everybody was talking about it around
me. For some good years, I just don’t feel the need to watch movies or read
books anymore. It seems that my brain reached a saturation point and needs to
be washed before writing something new on it.
So I look at the
movie, which doesn’t have romanian subtitles, and I’m forced to put to work my
foreign language abilities in order to understand something about what’s going
on there. The movie does have a spiritual meaning, as Andreea told me, it is
about the eternal fight between old and new, between mundane and holy, between
unconsciousness and consciousness. In “Matrix” we had Neo and Smith, the two antagonist
faces of the same character, here we have Jake and his Avatar.
What touches me in
this movie is not, yet, the special effects or the actual idea of the movie,
but the moment when Jake’s Avatar is under the shoot of Neytiri’s arch, and
some delicate creatures like jellyfishes come to sit on him, as a sign that she
shouldn’t kill him. I saw this as an expression of love, which became visible
by putting together the raw force (Jake’s muscles, the Arch of Neytiri) with
the softness of those virtual creatures. My tears fell.
And again, on the
fighting scenes where the solidarity of the natives was put on test, I was
touched till tears. I felt that it was a fight of justice against injustice, of
truth against lies, in which somehow I was involved also.
That was about the “Avatar”
movie.
What I can still
remember is that I was looking through my window, from my room, and I was
seeing gulls flying and floating slowly in the sky, as in a dance with the
wind. There was so much poetry in their slow fly….
All day I had the
sensation that I live in another movie of my life, not the one I knew till
then. Everything was moving so slow, everything around me seemed changed,
transfigured, different. I had a silence in me from another world. And I was
really asking myself then, how much is it gonna last this state? Is it something
temporary or not?
Meanwhile, I came
back to “my senses”. The magical feeling disappeared but his echo is still
there and will probably come up again, in some other special day like that 7 of
march 2013.
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