On 6th of march 2013, I’ve had a meeting with a
Reiki Master, namely Andreea Ionescu. You can read more about her on her blog: http://pisicka.wordpress.com/. How did
I get there? I attended a Reiki evening with her and her students, and I liked
her presence and her energy. Then I just took her phone number from a friend,
and I made an appointment.
The basic reason that led me to her was a dark
episode from my life, happened a few years ago, which left me with some
questions in my mind. In short, out of the blue I found myself having these
killing thoughts, which I really didn’t know how to handle with. Just imagine a
voice that only you are hearing, is telling you: “Take the knife and kill this
being!” I have had crucial tests before in my life, but usually these were
about me, personally. For example, when I was a little boy, maybe 8 or 9 years
old, I was about to drown in the sea, and I would have drowned there if I
hadn’t had shouted for help. I remember even now the critical moment when I
thought: ”Should I cry for help or not?” If I would have waited a few seconds
more, I couldn’t have done it anymore, probably.
Or in my adolescence, when I was thinking to
commit suicide. It was somehow, also about my own life.
But this episode, from my 28 years, was something
new somehow, and it shook me to my roots. And although I passed over it without
actually killing anybody, I felt somehow that something unfinished remained
there. A question that was still in my mind afterwards was: were those thoughts
mine or was it some evil entity that took over me for a while?
With this question in my head, I wanted to go
long ago to a therapist, to tell him about what happened to me and to actually
ask for a second opinion. But because I either didn’t found the right person,
or it seemed to me too expensive, or...the moment was delayed pretty much. But
when I came across this being full of warmth and a rare seen maturity, I said
it’s the moment to make the step. As a background fact, the being I wanted to
kill back then was a woman also, so I went to Andreea with a thought that she
could probably better understand what happened.
So I arrived at this lady, who lives in the
fucking suburbs of Bucharest, in Pipera,
a residential area, very fine otherwise. I think it took me an hour and
a half to get there, from which 30 minutes only walking, on the highroad.
Anyway, her little house is magnificent, she has all kinds of esoteric stuff
spread all over the room, plus a very beautiful garden. And, above all, a white
cat as an assistant. When I saw the cat and all the scenery, I started to feel
like Neo from Matrix, who goes to the Oracle to found out what he already
knows...
Andrea asks me what brought me there and I
start to tell her my story. I look at her from time to time and I see her
yawning and her eyes are wet. She vaguely explains to me that she’s „doing
something”, I don’t know why, and then she tells me straight: those thoughts
were yours. She asks me if I dream in the nights that I fight, and I say not
anymore, but in the past yes. And that it happens to me very offen to see
myself with a sword in my right hand. She tells me then that she sees me just
like this, with a sword in my hand on the battlefield, in the first line.
Killing not one, but hundreds of people. My heart starts to melt...
And then she says that she sees me with a hood
on my head, as a christian or zen monk and that these are the basic figures
that she sees me like: monk and warrior. I listen to her and I can’t say
neither yes or no, rationally speaking. But, from what I know of myself, of my
thoughts and my feelings, yes, what this woman is telling me makes sense. The
warrior disposition I had it since I was a little child, when I was living with
my grandparents and I used to shoot with the slingshot the little birds, or I made
an arch to shoot play with. Or, should I say about the soldier toys I played
with when I was in the second or third primary school, I think? Or the clay war
buildings I used to make?
Ok, so you were a samurai or whatever, in the
past lives, and then you did your repentance in the monasteries, be it christian,
buddhist, tibetan, etc. What’s next?
Because I told her that the theme of this
meeting is „the relationship with women”, she tells me that I’ve made in other
lives the so called chastity vow, meaning to renounce having sex with women,
for the sake of God. I remember that somebody also told me that before, 7 or 8
years ago, somebody with some extrasensorial perceptions. I can’t say neither
yes or no, but facts are speaking for themselves. My relationships with girls
started very late, when I was already 20 years old, and I had always a holding
back on having sex, because I felt it is a sin if you don’t love the person.
She asks me if I want to untie those vows and I
say yes. We were about to pass on to this, later on.
At some point she comes with the divining rod (a
tool from radiestesy: http://www.answers.com/topic/radiesthesia)
and the associated scale, and she measures my energetic field or something. She
tells me that it has 6 mil. units, which is much above the level of the average
man (who has around 100-200 units). My ego feels good about it, but still I cannot
translate this information into my system. Andreea asks me when was the last
time I was in love and how much it lasted. I say, some many years ago and it
lasted around one year and a half. She says that for most people it lasts only
several months. Is it so? I don’t know.
Then she asks me what would I want to be
written on my funeral stone. I said, I don’t know. On your visit card, then? I
say, „a man who knew how to give himself away”. She replies that this is a
powerful Bodhisattva statement, and she briefly tells me about an episode in
her Nepal trip, when the buddhist monks were making food for the guests, as a
selfless service for the others. Pondering a little bit on what she said,
afterwards, I realized that beyond my egoistic moments in this life, the
deepest feelings of brotherhood and peer to peer connection I had it with the
people that are on the spiritual path and who fight so that the truth is
revealed in a way or another. It was not with my family, it was not with the
people of the same language I speak (although these are also important), or
other groups of people. The only affiliation that I feel is really free and
with no bondings, no mental limits, is this spiritual affiliation.
After this discussion I feel my heart is
opening and I look into the warm eyes of this lady, who lets herself seen in
her depths. Sometimes it looks like there is no point in talking, because we
could communicate very easily and much more deeply only looking at each
other...
Then she asks me: „Do you have any more
questions?” I say: „No”. And we move on
to the practical part, of untying bindings and getting rid of the barriers...
I sit on some sort of extensible armchair, like
on the dentist, just much more comfortable. She tells me to relax, I relax, and
I feel her palms above my head and then in the heart area. She tells me to say
mentally that I release myself from the chastity vow, I do it, though without
much of conviction. I feel to say though something like: „I want to live free,
without limitations.” At some point I start to breath more deeply through the
mouth, and I feel some tingles in my body as if somebody would have plugged me
in to electricity. She asks me what I see, but it’s hard for me to catch the
images that go through my mind. I am very rooted in the body, in its
sensations. At some point, everything settles down and she lets me a few
minutes to recover. I feel something is changed. The next day I will have felt
this even more strong. But about this, in the second part of the article.
We sit a few more
minutes, and she asks me if I’ve seen „Avatar”, the movie, and I say „No”, and
then she handles to me the DVD with this movie. I accept the invitation because
I’m in an accepting mood.
Before we go, she
tells me a few more things about what I should do regarding my relationship
with women and the professional part. I catch something about „you have many,
many resources, you sit on minegolds, you just need to dig a little...” I agree
internally and externally. That I must dig, clearly.
I put my donation on
the table for the time and energy she offered to me and we leave together
towards the car, as she offered to take me to the metro.
-
to be continued -
