Selfportrait

Two voices:

Whisper and Shout.

Hushhhhhhhhh….

HOP!

And the silence that surrounds them…

Two. Two am. I…

From a couple of days something interesting is happening…I’m living a frustration, a sadness, because I can’t see my girlfriend, but, at the same time, I have moments when I’m out of this madness, of this nonsense, and even if there are only few moments, maybe, it’s something miraculous to discover how simple this is.

I just breath and relax wherever I am and the frustration goes in the background…

I looks like I have a capacity to absorb pain more than I imagine.

On spiritual seekers…

There are two types of seekers in the area of spirituality, as I see it.
One is of those who are afraid of people, of relationships, of love, generally speaking. They choose the ”path of meditation”, or the path of intelligence, as it is called. The second type is of those who are afraid of themselves, of loneliness, of death, of void. They choose the ”path of love”, or the path of the heart, of devotion, as it is called. For some, it is easier to work hardly, to travel by themselves, to be ”independent”, to think, to be detached, and so on and so forth…For others, it is easier to surrender, to allow themselves to ”go with the flow”, or with God, if we use the Christian terminology, to love, to be with others, to dance, to get involved, and so on and so forth…

The path of meditation can be called also as the path of water, because water is cold, yin, is going inwards, unto the empty spaces, and it is like a mirror. The path of love can be called also as the path of fire, because the fire is hot, it is yang, it’s going outwards, seems to be looking for the solid objects, to give them his light and warmth.

The essence of fire is generosity and the essence of water is receptivity.

There is one more category, nevertheless, which is pretty rare, in my opinion. It is of those who follow the ”middle way”, or the way of balance. For them, heart, love, are as much important as the mind, the intelligence. From this equanimity results a certain balance, or a neutralization of the two aspects. The thing is that…yes, the balance can’t be taught (I mean, by someone separated from you). All the things that deal with it (like, for example: swimming, riding a bicycle, musical ear, etc.), once you’ve learned ”the secret”, you cannot forget them ever. This, I find to be really amazing.:)))

That’s all for today.

They say that…

Nobody is ireplaceble. Such a big lie!
In fact, nobody can be replaced in existence. It would mean that God creates clones…

Impressions on a Bodhiray meditation group, November 2008

In November 2008, I’ve been to a meditation/therapy  group, with Bodhiray, an Osho disciple and therapist.

Bodhiray is a strange but beautiful  being. First time I saw him, he scared me a little. He had such a stillness in his eyes.But after you see his inner child also, hahaha…and his inner mother:)…you chill out. I chilled out.

Now about the workshop…

I remember about a sense of poetry, looking outside, through the window, at the falling leaves… The wind was blowing pretty hard, but still, things were moving really slow for me.

I remember also about a flash image from the Dinamic Osho Meditation, when I opened my eyes (heh, I know you’re not supposed to do this) and I saw the people around me in the sunlight, jumping in the same rhythm and shouting “Huu!” :)

Then…Bodhiray’s jokes…”...."you are very beautiful when you blush!", "oh, you have a tricky mind!", "now you are a general, no smile on your face!" :))

Yes, and the sharing from the last day….hm. I wouldn’t thought that this part can be so…ravishing.  Usually, in this part, people simply say something from the past. And the past, no matter how intense was, it is past, it is dead. But then it was different.  Maybe the trustful atmosphere encouraged people to be honest and to open without the fear of being punished or judged.  And the repressed emotions surfaced, those pains that weren’t yet healed…

Hmda.

Mm…feminine…

Last weekend I was to a meditation group with Spersa Kreis, an Osho disciple and therapist.

What  led  me to go was a need to explore the touching and the tactile senses:)). The title of the ”course”: ”Blossoming of sensuality”.

There were three and a half days of experiments with the body, the heart and the…no-mind :).

I feel grateful to those who had the courage to open their hearts and show their vulnerabilities. To the women, first of all. Because in the last day, the touched me…Simply and directly.